5 Questions You Might Ask Yourself Post-College

A wonderful mentor of mine once lifted the curtain on what post-grad life is like. She laid out truth, that it isn't perfect or smooth, telling me that she struggled as much as the next grad to adjust to life outside the security of a university. Thankfully, her honesty gave me a jump start in processing post-grad life, something I hope to share with anyone who is in their senior year or just graduated. Here are questions I asked, and think of you might have as well.

1. Why isn't it working?

If you went to a college similar to mine, you left feeling inspired, encouraged, and equipped. Something about getting A's and nods from professors creates the illusion that you can achieve anything—with a little hard work of course. While this is not a bad ambition, it can lead to false conclusions and paralyzing questions.

[Photo cred: my husband. I recently posted my thoughts on this issue here.]

Graduation is a momentous occasion, marking the culmination of an individual's conquer of significant trials. But, for the most part, those achievements were easy to find and complete. The challenge was laid out in the first syllabus you received. Unfortunately, life beyond the educational system does not provide such a road map. Instead, popular culture will tell you to make something of yourself, work your connections, build a presence, and work work work. [Thanks, Rihanna for saying what we all needed to dance to]

Don't be fooled. No amount of hard work and networking will land you the perfect (dream) job. While these things are not wrong or harmful, putting your faith in these things will lead to anxiety, stress, and disappointment. Instead of faulting the system when you end up working at Carl's Jr. instead of The New York Times, remember Who is leading you in the first place.

As Christians, walking forward is the only thing we know we are supposed to do. Trust God's leading, without a 5-year-plan (which personally I find kinda ridiculous and impossible—who can know five years from now anyway?) or guarantees of a particular future. Work with what you have, do what's in front of you, and give everything up to God every day, all day. He blesses obedience, I promise.

2. How do I catch my illusive dream job?

I am not speaking from the experience of having the dream job. In fact, my first job out of college was actually kinda crappy. I worked in an office, answered phones, updated paperwork, filed—mainly I sat in a rolly office chair for eight hours a day so that I could be paid; not what a budding English major might have imagined. But I learned something working in this small, unfeeling office that I won't soon forget: my job does not have to define me.

As a student (and one who cared about good grades and her education) for so many years, much of who I was was tied to what I spent the majority of my time doing: school. My relationships, mental space, down time, first jobs—heck, even my sleeping and eating schedule—revolved around my education. Again, this is part of college and not an inherently bad thing. But it is something that will—has to—change out of school. If I let my life continue to be defined by my work, I become a dull, nonsensical, stressed-out professional. If I choose to value the life that work allows me to live outside business hours, I am a relaxed, loved, joyful individual.

All this is to say, finding a dream job would probably be really cool, and some people will find that eventually, but as Solomon said so well,

"There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 8:14-15). 

If your chief concern is finding contentment in your workplace—respect, creative freedom, a great boss, best friend co-workers, etc.—you will always be looking. Instead, look for a contented life outside of toil alone. Often, that contentment bleeds into your workplace anyway, showing up unexpectedly like joy always does.

3. How do people do this?

Honestly, I don't think anyone really know what their supposed to be doing. I think people just start heading in one direction and see where it takes them. I took the first job I was offered outside of college because I was getting married in three months and needed to pay rent. My decision, as I assume many people's, came from necessity. While at the time that was a good financial decision, only three months later I was offered a different job in a completely different field. Was this second job more of what God had for me than the first? I don't think so. I think God has used both jobs in my life to care for me physically (paychecks are necessary) and spiritually (I could write reams on how God has grown my faith through hard work and patience—but for now I'll stick to this). Don't be afraid of making the wrong decision and foiling God's plan for your life. Trust His leadership and know that you can always start over or change course.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again because 1) I think its true and 2) my very wise husband said it first: I think God is far more concerned with posture of your heart than the circumstances of your life. 

[True contentment is found in sharing rice and beans three times a week.]

Don't fall prey to the illusion that anyone has it figured on the first try. No one does. Look to God's character and know Him as your Shepherd—the rest will come together.

4. Where do I start? 

I started with a resume.

Not only will you need one for almost every job you apply for (come on Sprouts, I thought we were cooler than that), but it serves as a bit of a confidence boost when you are blindly surfing the tidal waves of job opportunities. Just about every job description asks for someone just like you but with far more qualifications that you could possibly be expected to have. Reflect instead on the things you have accomplished—projects, good grades, that relationship you nurtured that can now recommend you for the job. Job hunting can make you feel insignificant and unqualified. But know that you will find work eventually, it just takes time.

Next, try LinkedIn. They have great jobs and will help you understand how to market yourself professionally (although don't worry about this too much; your best Advocate is working for you regardless of your online profiles). Also, I found Glassdoor super helpful when a job didn't list a salary. Just resources to help you begin.

[Also, there is no shame in Googling the answers to anything. I found my first resume template, cover letter, and letter of resignation online. Works like a dream.]

5. Will life always be like this?

Life outside of college is radically different from life in college for one simple reason: it is uncharted. You have never been there before and the change can feel daunting. Two months of job hunting without luck or feeling stuck in a dead-end job will point to the difficult truth that "real life" will not offer the constant relief from the mundane that college can. I'm talking about new subjects every hour, last-minute trips to the beach when homework becomes mind-numbing, and a new crop of potential friends every semester. Compared to that, life out of college can feel pretty monotonous.

But remember that life will not always feel like this. Life will never always be like anything. Life is full of change (good and hard), opportunities, and the unexpected. It only remains stagnant when you close off the inflows and outflows that make life interesting. Grasping for the perfect equilibrium, seeking to balance everything—the perfect workout routine, an adequate sleep schedule, friendships, pursuing your passions, having "me-time"—will never allow for that creatively wonderful force called change to shake up everything and bring a fresh start. Have faith that no change is without purpose.

[My husband, who is a constant reminder of life's true priorities.]

5 Things To Do in Your Freshman Year of College

I find myself drawn back to the memories of my freshman year. Maybe its the time of year. Maybe its that I won't be in school this year. Maybe I'm just getting old. Either way, I wanted to encourage those who are starting college soon with some advice people once gave me, advice that was actually helpful. Maybe one day I'll write down all the advice you do not need to follow (truly, you don't need to buy your own printer), but today I'll stick to this.

Here are some things to do and remember your freshman year of college:

1. Wear jeans to dinner.

Many have heard of (and feared) the Freshman 15—those pesky pounds that come from nowhere, suddenly, in the night. For starters, do not ever fear gaining weight. It can always be lost or lived with—no problem. But if you want to avoid unhealthy portions and maintain a balanced diet, try wearing jeans to dinner. Sweatpants create a false barrier of trust, a comforting illusion that no matter how many ice cream cones you eat after dinner, there will always be room for more. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Jeans give you a realistic nod that you are getting full, and won't let you eat past an unhealthy point. Plus, you'll look slightly more pulled together even at the end of a long day.

That said, I have to comment that stress, a new environment, and academic pressure can all effect someone's weight. For me, stress often meant that I couldn't stomach food—meaning I could lose weight unexpectedly. So don't add even more stress to your life if you do gain or lose 15 pounds over the course of 3 months. But know that to if you are mindful and eat well (even as tempting as late-night burgers and fries sounds) you can beat the Freshman 15.

2. Talk to your roommates before you get to know them.

Before you've curled up together to chat about the new boys at school, establish a clear understanding with your roommates about who will clean what, whose stuff is whose, and who falls asleep earlier. Doing this early on prevents the awkward readdressing of the rules later when feelings can be more easily hurt. Pushing the awkward out of the way sooner rather than later leaves room for a real relationship (free of tension) to be formed.

3. Remember that relationships are marathons, not sprints.

For many people, coming out of high school friendships, established carefully over four years, can make building friendships in college daunting and discouraging. At times, friendships can feel immediate and closer than anything you've previously experienced. Other times, you can feel isolated and alone. Remember these are both phases and neither stand as the determiner of your social life for the long haul. Looking back on the friendships maintained in the past and being patience with the ones developing for the future will make these times pass more smoothly.

4. Know that not everyone who is dating is happy.

Sometimes, as a single woman, I would look around me at the girls in relationships and assume they had it better. But, as Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Many relationships will form and dissolve in the first year of college. Its normal. Be there for the friends who jump into relationships head on only to have them end a few months later. That can be pretty devastating, especially if everyone else has spent those months grabbing late night burritos without you. Have compassion for those who are in over their heads rather than being jealous for the things you don't have.

5. Make friends with the staff.

One of the coolest things about going to college (especially a small one) is the interaction you can have with full-time staff. People who work in a college environment have a special interest in college students and want to see them thrive, at times giving a tremendous amount to see that happen. So interact with your RAs, RDs, and other student life staff. Chances are they actually care about you. Also, they make great role models for the professional world and can help you get connected post-college.

How do you get to know them? Volunteer for orientation and events, be available to help with odd jobs, and talk to people. Its not complicated. As a former RA, I can tell you that the people who showed up ready to help are the ones I remember the most. If you expect to be served and give nothing back, you will get nothing back.

All that to say, the best advice you can take with you into the new school year is that you are going to be okay and you can get through anything. So enjoy it for what it is and have fun.

These are just some of the things I found helpful and useful while I was in college. If you have more ideas, tips, or life-saving advice, please share.

5 Reasons to Become an English Major

I wanted to post something of an encouragement to the soon-to-be college students who are slogging through a mire of major life choices; one of the hardest being where to go to college and what to study. Unfortunately, I can't make that decision easier. But I can say that if the English major is up for consideration, there are plenty of reasons it would be a good idea. So here is a--by no means exhaustive--list of reasons to be an English major:

 

1. If you value individuality.

Most of the English majors I know are incredible individuals. They are the kind of people who are not afraid to sit and talk with anyone because they see people as individuals worth getting to know. They are into backstories and care about context--no person is entirely what they seem on the surface. The English major I know are all distinctly different yet found a common ground in the love of the language. There is truly no stereotypical English major (aside from perhaps a verbose vocabulary).

 

2. If you can't spell.

One of the most inaccurate assumptions of English majors is that we can all spell intrinsically. I am a terribly speller, yet here I am. My advice remains: read the dictionary in your spare time and use the Google search bar when the words get tricky.

 

3. If you have something to say.

Being an English major comes with--of course--the burden of essays. Lots of essays. But by my senior year I found that I could create an essay on any topic because I had a central message to convey. If you have voice and need the medium to express it, essays can turn from an assignment to a resource for expressing intelligent thought for others to appreciate. It's actually quite fun.

 

4. If you have been mentally editing this post for grammar and content mistakes.

All English majors are not Grammar Nazis. But we do care about using this language correctly for the purpose of effective communication. Grammar was not created by the grammar gods; it is found naturally in our language. As English majors, it is our job to search it out and protect it like a delicate growing flower that it is. We are the gatekeepers of the history, culture, and progress of our language. So pardon us that we care to do it right.

5. If you want to learn stuff.

When I started in my college's program, I had no idea the extensive subjects my major would cover. I assumed the major was all reading and writing, not knowing that we would discuss public policy, social justice, current events, history, pop culture, psychology, relationships, family structure, dreams, and so much more on a regular basis. To walk away with a degree in something which gave you a clearer perspective on the world and humanity could never be a bad idea. That perspective remains a steady companion regardless of jobs, career, or season of life.

No one can tell you what to do perfectly, or divine your life's true purpose--not even yourself. But what you can do is try something that will prepare you for the world, develop your selfhood, and introduce you to concepts and ideas that will fascinate you your whole life long.